Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
