whats a polygalesbian?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.