when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
