How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now