Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously

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  (281): I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously http://tfl.nu/rnuw
  Replies (9) Good night (668) Bad night (1069)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  Bea Arthur died! :(

  (214): View more from Texas

  What?

  (936): View more from Texas

  Big bird passed.

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  (936):Bea Arthur died! :( (214):What? (936):Big bird passed. http://tfl.nu/7dhn
  Replies (8) Good night (695) Bad night (1182)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.

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  (301): Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them. http://tfl.nu/uwdn
  Replies (25) Good night (3433) Bad night (667)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly

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  (313): my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly http://tfl.nu/cj2d
  Replies (39) Good night (993) Bad night (10297)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car

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  (973): Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car http://tfl.nu/9e8r
  Replies (38) Good night (9136) Bad night (2078)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy

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  (917): I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy http://tfl.nu/okyl
  Replies (1) Good night (2529) Bad night (1167)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway

  (925): View more from California

  I hate that you know that from experience

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  (206): you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway (925): I hate that you know that from experience http://tfl.nu/zmuh
  Replies (11) Good night (1348) Bad night (2395)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.

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  (309): We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates. http://tfl.nu/cot7
  Replies (26) Good night (6067) Bad night (1079)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.

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  (575): There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town. http://tfl.nu/m7kt
  Replies (4) Good night (1176) Bad night (546)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny

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  (203): Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny http://tfl.nu/4qb9
  Replies (9) Good night (4057) Bad night (911)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.

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  (312): i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me. http://tfl.nu/c5n9
  Replies (3) Good night (1787) Bad night (392)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.

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  (615): All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me. http://tfl.nu/gv89
  Replies (2) Good night (845) Bad night (377)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.

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  (509): Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option. http://tfl.nu/ikne
  Replies (3) Good night (437) Bad night (336)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!

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  (662): I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good! http://tfl.nu/4rir
  Replies (0) Good night (306) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen

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  (614): He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen http://tfl.nu/pfpx
  Replies (1) Good night (419) Bad night (183)

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