Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(863): View more from Florida

If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT

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(867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it

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The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Read it at the TFLN blog
(801): View more from Utah

We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party

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(618): View more from Illinois

Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better

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(801): View more from Utah

Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?

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(540): View more from Virginia

My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.

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