Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds

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  (949): we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds http://tfl.nu/xoyy
  Replies (12) Good night (704) Bad night (3225)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.

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  (604): Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating. http://tfl.nu/sjit
  Replies (35) Good night (13828) Bad night (1262)
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  (925): View more from California

  curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.

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  (925): curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high. http://tfl.nu/vy6k
  Replies (12) Good night (3062) Bad night (1414)
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.

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  (807): I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever. http://tfl.nu/8cfr
  Replies (23) Good night (5336) Bad night (1341)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.

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  (260): It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs. http://tfl.nu/yz88
  Replies (14) Good night (1287) Bad night (4688)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.

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  (484): I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case. http://tfl.nu/welv
  Replies (13) Good night (3319) Bad night (1168)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties

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  (416): i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties http://tfl.nu/mxe3
  Replies (9) Good night (2926) Bad night (1140)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set

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  (702): By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set http://tfl.nu/1rax
  Replies (12) Good night (1433) Bad night (967)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.

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  (970): I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me. http://tfl.nu/0q6n
  Replies (1) Good night (998) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house

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  (+61): We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house http://tfl.nu/x0d1
  Replies (2) Good night (1038) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.

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  (336): Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully. http://tfl.nu/zl7k
  Replies (1) Good night (434) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.

  (636): View more from Missouri

  $5. Donated.

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  (314): Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate. (636): $5. Donated. http://tfl.nu/smvj
  Replies (0) Good night (842) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.

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  (407): Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away. http://tfl.nu/1xai
  Replies (1) Good night (640) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.

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  (412): My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me. http://tfl.nu/8r2t
  Replies (6) Good night (1193) Bad night (261)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Come to this bar

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  But I'm full of food.

  (512): View more from Texas

  MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK

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  (512): Come to this bar (1-512): But I'm full of food. (512): MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK http://tfl.nu/hxr0
  Replies (3) Good night (863) Bad night (171)

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