I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
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Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
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I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So I just went to clothing optional bar
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