i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick