You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
