i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
