Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
