How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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