They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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