I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
