he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
