I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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