Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
