before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Randomize
