he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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