just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
