This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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