as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize