spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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