my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
