If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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