why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
