i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
