I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
