I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I need to sanitize my soul.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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