went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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