my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize