My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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