I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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