hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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