champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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