soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
