Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Randomize
