I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
