The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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