just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
