yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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