My sheets look like a crime scene.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
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I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
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I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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