was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize