AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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