who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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