i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
i've created a new STD.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize