have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
My life is pants optional.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize