there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
