Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
