I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
