I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
