i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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