i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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