Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
