I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
