I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
