i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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