Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
