So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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