im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
