That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
