you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
If its not for food we ain't going out.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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