she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I cut my penus on the lid.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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