I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
