I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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