I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
