i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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