ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
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I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
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I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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