My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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