I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
