Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
