started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
