the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
