Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
