Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
