Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
